Monday, June 7, 2010

A crazy notion.

I definitely have a problem. I think I only feel attracted to boys who are emotionally, physically, and obviously unavailable?What does that translate into? Homewrecker. Absolute, detestable floozy! I can't stand myself sometimes.

I've definitely done this before. Now, I know none of these guys would ever break up with their girlfriends, and maybe that's why I enjoy it so much? Honestly, I think most of the time I'm actually pretty good friends with their girlfriends as well, and yet I should feel guilty about acting in a fairly despicable manner. I mean, should I blame the guy who flirts with me ridiculously behind closed doors, or should I blame myself for enjoying most of it and reciprocating?

I don't really doubt in my mind that what I'm doing is wrong, but I guess it's just a confidence boost. It does feel nice to be wanted, and perhaps even more so because the boy who wants you has someone so great right next to him. I would never do anything with these types of guys, but so then it seems as though there's no point to even teetering that line. I mean, I'm sure the girlfriends would be fuming to see any sort of hint of flirting, and if they knew it was me, then they'd be confused even more. I don't think I'm a fake person, and yet I do things that characterize that perfectly. I sometimes don't know what to make of myself. I wonder if anyone else has this type of problem, or if I'm some sort of attention whore.

I refused to ramble, especially this late/early. I clearly failed. I probably won't remember this when I wake up. I hope someone reminds me so I can come back here and delete this.

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