Thursday, June 3, 2010

Lowered expectations... in a good way!

So, I just came back from an adventure with a friend in Panera.... I think we got there at around seven, but then got home at ten. That left a lot of time to talk, but the last ten minutes definitely got to me the most, and I think I've finally gotten a bit out of this slump. What she said really made a whole lot of sense, and changed my previous outlook a little bit.

Things will obviously look better as we get older, but it's because in that exact moment, we only focus on what could've been. I was really sad about how I thought the end of my senior year panned out. I lost sooo many great friends, and I have no one but myself to blame for that. Overall, I just wanted a happy and worry-free graduation, but it now seems impossible. Surprisingly, I'm okay with that now. I realize that I'm only zeroing in on these things that I wish would happen, or I hold this extreme ideal of what a high school graduation should be like. Everyone should be smiling for pictures, and we all have these meaningful relationships that will continue on for decades to come.

I've decided. I won't do that anymore. I won't focus on the negative and what might have possibly happened, but just not expect... anything. I'm definitely the happiest when I least expect it, but if I keep waiting for some event to just make all of my dreams come true, nothing good will come of it. So, I'm just going to be excited for what might happen, and expect the unexpected. Ignorance in this case could very well be bliss. =)

I know, I know. Mood swings yet again?? But hopefully this one will stick. I feel good about this. I really do. I can't keep being upset over every single little thing, and what better way to look at life besides being completely blind? No, but seriously, I think that if I don't try so hard, great happenings will come easier. All I can do now is stay where I am, and hope things come to me for once. And I for one, couldn't be any happier.

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