Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A week into it...

I would say that, in terms of the best friends issue, I don't find myself struggling with the idea as much anymore. In fact, I think I've made some amazing friends thus far. I would definitely say that Isabel is one of those people. We actually end up doing a lot of things together, and she always has her friends' best interest at heart. She's hilarious, sweet, and just overall an amazing person. I think I'm blessed to have met someone like that. Then there are all of the people on my floor, but I do think that I like Sam the most. He's just so lovable! He's also ridiculously funny, and even sings. It does help that he's insanely cute as well. HAHAHAHA, that actually reminds me of how he was telling us that he tried stopping himself from hitting a wall while drunk, and instead stuck his hands out and hit a wasp. His hand was hideously deformed, and yet I laughed at it hysterically. I am definitely an evil person.

I even saw one of the kids who graduated from NBTHS a year ago, and he also went to Cornell. It was actually embarrassing the way I ran into him. I was eating a whole thing of cotton candy and cried out his name. I was worried he'd get creeped out and run away, but alas! He decided to stay. And in a weird series of events, I ended up going out to dinner with him, his other friend from Jersey, and half of their floor (I live in High Rise Five, they live in Low Rise 7). It's funny since I totally am not a part of that group at all, but I've basically invited myself over there for the past two days. Yeah, I'm a creep. I also met this ridiculously gorgeous wasian girl, but she clearly doesn't know it. She attempts to work against her looks, which only makes her more likable. She seemed like she was the crazy hipster chick type, but she's actually ridiculously sweet and innocent. She even told me that she wrote about me in her diary, describing me as "the most BAMF korean chick" she's ever met. I have decided to corrupt her with TMI stories. I'm salivating at the thought =D

And then there's Ben. I actually met Ben only two days ago, and I think he's quite possibly one of the most interesting people I've met in my life. I actually thought he hated me when we first met. His monotonous tone and terse responses didn't really add to the idea that he wanted to be friends. I actually ended up texting him as well when Peter wouldn't pick up his phone and I still needed my bow, and Ben and I decided to make plans for lunch. He's ridiculously funny, adorable, and finds me hilarious. I don't really think I can ask for more in a friend. It seems like he genuinely does like me, and that's all I really want.

There are just sooo many more people I could go on and on about, but then I realized that this blog post would go on for ages, or I would just never post this. Seriously, I started this over four days ago and have practically given up on blogging. I genuinely just don't have time for it anymore. BUT, I figured that it's a good way to look back on how I felt about what was going on in a certain point in my life. An interactive diary of sorts =D

I guess I should go on to talk about one of the things I was really looking forward to... So. My orchestra audition... I can't get over how freaking terrible it was. And I have no one but myself to blame for it! Seriously, I don't know what I was thinking. I woke up at 10:50 when my audition was at 11:20. FUCK MY LIFE. Seriously, I don't know how I can be so irresponsible sometimes. I was really disappointed in myself. I'm surprised I didn't burst out crying right after it happened. I realized about halfway through my bawling that only five basses tried out for eight spots, so I was basically a shoo-in. Maybe the whole idea of the terrible audition just really got to me. I can't imagine being rewarded for something as horrible as my rendition of Vivaldi's Third Sonata. I seriously need to start practicing instead of whittling my life away on needless things (like facebook stalking... tee hee).

It is officially 1:30 am, and I definitely need to go to bed. I have class at ten, and I have yet to start half of my homework. Oh bejesus. I actually do have a lot of things to blog about, so hopefully I can find some time to sit down and write it! But until then... =)

Monday, August 23, 2010

Wow... just... Wow.

I have to say... My college experience thus far? UH-MAZING. I mean, I didn't think I'd get into it so early so soon. But I definitely love the "Cornell family" that's been forming at this point. I can't even begin to list the crazy things that I've done since I've been here. And I thought I was being bad right before I left... ;)

But to summarize a few of the *slightly* illegal things I've done all summer (which I failed to do in my last post since I was lazy) was drink roughly two times, smoke four times, have some form of sexual relations three times, drive around late at night 128392839018432893209329032890382382391 times, and get caught doing one of these acts by my parents. For the most part, all of these things happened towards the end of summer. I don't particularly know why, nor do I recommend it, but I had a very... apathetic approach to the end of summer. I figured I wouldn't see almost 85% of the people in the next four years anyways, so I might as well just do whatever the heck I could. I would like to say that I regret some of the things I've done, but I don't particularly regret anything. If anything, they all just add to the little experience I've had in life. It also makes for a fun list of crazy stories I can tell my friends. Muahahaha.


I probably should start with my suitemates. I have to say, I definitely love every single one of them. They're all ridiculously sweet, and amazingly friendly. I've had lunch with them as a group once, and every once in a while, we get together every now and then. I think I've bonded the most with this one girl Isabel. We call her the sheepherder since she's always making sure all of us stick together. She's definitely the biggest party girl in the group, but I think that we're both loud and insane, so it's definitely not hard for us to get close. There's also this one girl Veronica. I wish I could hate her, I really do... but I just can't. She's too sweet! And that's what makes it so much worse. Not only is she drop-dead gorgeous, but she also is tall, skinny, has amazing hair, and is one of the nicest people I've met. She can solve a rubik's cube in less than three minutes. Kill me now. Lol, I haven't been too close with the other suitemates, but I still do love them dearly. Abby and Hannah are just really nice people, and I think they bring out the better person in me. And I can't even begin to explain things about my entire floor. We've dubbed ourselves the Cornell family. We all take care of each other and always just barge into each other's dorms. I was a bit apprehensive about living in High Rise, but all of the people in it are just too fun. Clara Dickson can go suck on an egg for all I care.

So, what's been going on in college? Well, at Cornell it is currently O-Week at the moment, and I'm practically loving every second of it. I've gone to most of the required events here (even though they totally don't check to see if you come. Bleh) and have been out every single night. I figured I might as well enjoy the limited amount of time I have before classes start. And life has been good. I heard from my hosting program before that there weren't as many parties because the cops were on close watch during the first week of orientation. SO NOT TRUE. Not true at all. If anything, there's been a ridiculously excessive amount of parties around this time of the month (no period pun intended). Party hopping is a definite possibility whenever people go out, but of course, not all gatherings are equal. For the most part, the frats and Collegetown (a place right on the edge of campus) houses are the ones who throw the parties. I have never seen so much cheap beer in my life. I can't particularly drink beer, though, so I try to stay away from it. I usually just carry one around to make it seem as though I'm not completely sober. While that seems pretty weird/dumb on my part, I can't handle the taste of Keystone. It's just plain shit. Seriously. But it's college, and no one's shelling out the money for some nice Coronas. Luckily, I haven't had to pay any money for entrance into the parties. I can't imagine having to do that, but a couple of my friends from various colleges told me that they had to pay to get into some of them. I'm that I can safely say that I thoroughly enjoy free alcohol. I think it's because I have boobies =D

At the end of the day, I would say that my relationship with drinking is very... volatile. Clearly, it can be a lot of fun, but for me, I think I prefer not doing it. My body just can't consume copious amounts of alcohol, which leaves me with a ridiculously low tolerance and a not so jolly time. If I choose to drink, it means that I also choose to throw up everything that I've eaten in the past 24 hours. Yuck. I hate how I can't really just have even the slightest amount of alcohol without barfing on someone's shoes. So on the first and second day, I didn't really drink all too much. Although I do have to admit that the second day was more irresponsible on my part. I had approximately... five (ish) hits, which definitely killed me by the end of the night. I met a couple of interesting people at this particular frat. One of them kept on giving life advice and telling us what we should do with our time at Cornell while pumping the keg (lol). Not gonna lie, I was slightly attracted to him, and I don't really know why. He's not particularly good looking, but I guess I love those sardonic assholes.

On Friday, the first day of orientation, my suitemate texted me about a party in Collegetown and so while I was walking with a couple of people I just met recently, I decided to go with her and my other suitemate for my first real college life experience. It was... interesting, I suppose. I mean, I didn't think it was the most fun I could ever had, but it definitely wasn't a bad time. I got beer all over my cute new dress, which all of my suitemates loved apparently (I think I looked like I was going to church). I realized that everyone was really nice to the freshmen class and that no one really cared about age. There were a few sophomores that were just oh so sweet, and I got closer with a few more people from High Rise. That was the first of a few nights of mayhem to come.

On Sunday, I figured I might as well just drink all of my worries away since I hadn't exactly done so just yet. And it was gooooooood. Hahaha, I feel as though these blog posts are becoming some sort of confession booth for me at this point. But my friend texted me about some part at DKE and that it was "bar nite" (which I figured what that meant later) there. I went with most of my floormates, as we all randomly became best friends in a day. I walked in on this girl with a cello and asked her if she was auditioning for the orchestra. Our conversation led to a whole congregation of people on our floor and I got to meet just all of these great people. I really hope she does get in, as well as I pray that I'm in as well. Oh lawdy.

So, back to Sunday. I actually can't exactly recall what happened, but madness ensued for the most part. I think that was quite possibly the craziest night of my life. I don't know if I can go into full detail, but for the most part, I was apparently a very fun drunk. I remember a few shots, cocktails, and hard liquor. I also remember dancing, but it was very bad dancing. Isabel thinks my "skills" are cute, but they're really just laughable at best. I look like an oompa loompa bopping all over the place. I did meet someone there who seemed nice and cute, but then again, I don't think I was in the best judgement. My friends all noticed I was gone for a semi-long period of time and found me upstairs. Hahaha, apparently, they all had a newfound love for me and my skankiness. Oh college.

The walk of shame with my floormates has got to be one of the best memories I've had here so far. We were all yelling and screaming like typical drunk freshmen, but we did it together. Sam and I yelled obscenities at the cute couple in front of us as we laughed our heads off. Sam actually became my new best friend as he pulled my hair back when necessary and held my hand while we walked our tipsy selves back to our dorms. That night was just one of those typical college life experiences, and I'm glad I got to spend it with such amazing people.


And now, I'm looking towards the future. I would say that a couple of the things I'm looking forward to, in terms of academics and extracurriculars, would be my Econ class and orchestra. I've only met one person who's in the Microeconomics class so far, and even though she's quite possibly one of the cutest/sweetest girls I've met here at Cornell, I figured I would've met more people since Econ is the most popular major by far in the College of Arts and Sciences. djkaf;jd;fjdsalfjaf. I can't even describe the frustration I get when I ask people what colleges they're in. It's always engineering or cals for biology. It turns out that most of the A&S kids are in Clara Dickson, while I'm in High Rise 5. I definitely don't hate being in High Rise 5 though. It seriously has become a family of its own. Besides one or two stragglers, everyone on my floor is not only extremely friendly, but hilarious and accepting as well. While I do know that Clara Dickson is also known for its ridiculous openness, I do think the members of High Rise have proven to be a bunch of crazy bitches as well XP

But all this fun definitely comes at a price. I find myself waking up extremely exhausted, not prepared at all for my classes that start in three days, and freaked out about my audition which is in two days. While the audition thing isn't really my fault (the practice room is closed on weekends and I just got to Cornell on Friday... FUCK ME), I still freak out about it. I met some other girl who just really wants to be in the orchestra, but at this phase, it doesn't seem too likely. She didn't even know we had to fill out an audition form, while I haven't had any time to practice. Is it wrong to think that hopefully most of the other bass kids who audition suck really hard? And I missed one or two things because of the late time in which I've woken up. Granted, it's not all that big of a deal since none of these things are required, but I still do feel guilty. What am I going to do when I have to go to classes early? Gah. And then there's my face... Oh, what agony it brings me. I can't even begin to describe the hell that my acne has put me through. Most of my suitemates don't seem to suffer from this horrible disease, but of course my face has been breaking out like no other. I blame it on the a) new environment that my skin isn't accustomed to b) my lack of updating my skin care regimen and going to bed with my makeup on c) my period and d) my stress. This has created a medley of whiteheads, blackheads, and pimples galore. If only I was actually pretty so that acne didn't matter...

Overall, I definitely do love the things I've experience since I've gotten to Cornell, but I can't help but be bothered by a few things. I did make a lot of new friends when I came here, but I can't imagine any of these friendships being long term. They all like the drunk me or the stupid me, but I don't know if they'd ever want to go to Starbucks to just talk, and at the moment, I think that's what I want the most. I know it's a bit too soon to be looking for life-changing friends, but I just wish I had someone to really bond with, and having a single dorm doesn't really make it that much better. I find myself feeling alone even when I'm in the center of a group of people. I think I just need to lower my expectations in this aspect. I can't expect random kids to just tell me their life stories and want to be my best friends, but I always hear about how the friends one makes in college are the ones that will last lifetimes, and I got too excited about that. When I realized that things like that wouldn't happen instantaneously, it made me sad. I wonder if anyone else feels the same way, or if I'm just being really paranoid. Does it make sense that I'm slightly lonely, even in a college with 3000 incoming Freshmen?

Thursday, August 19, 2010

How could I not?

So. I figured I needed to write one last blog post to summarize my entire summer because, as of tomorrow, I'll officially be in Cornell. Today was (as many people would say) bittersweet. Of course I want to grow up and go to college, but I didn't know it would be this soon. Luckily, I didn't bawl as much as I did at graduation, but I did shed a few tears here and there. I will say that I kept myself from even giving a second thought to certain motherfuckers because they didn't even seem to care in the slightest bit that I left.


Overall, I would say that I had a ridiculously crazy summer. These past two weeks have been spent very well. I'll try to do as much summarization as I can. I got to see the people I really wanted to, like Rachel, Nthabi, Beth, Lucy, Katherine, Alice, Nishat, Mike(s), Peter, and even more. I seriously can't even begin to thank these people for being amazing friends. I know now that I do have some sort of net to come back to when I'm in North Brunswick, and I really couldn't ask for more. I even had a few summer flings here and there, which were surprisingly nice. I think I'm not really cut out for relationships, BUT HOPEFULLY CORNELL WILL PROVE TO BE DIFFERENT. Yeah, I'm totally not lonely...


Today, I tried to fit in as much time as I could with my friends, even though I was scolded by my parents the day before. I thought I could risk the consequences if it meant seeing some people for quite possibly the last time in the next five months. I actually had a ridiculously fun time at my friend's house at around ten thirty. Making pancakes at 11:30 at night and talking on a couch for two hours is just another wonderful memory I'll always keep with me. Who knew things like that could mean so much?

But before that, I went to the mall with two of my friends. One of them was a really nice person from All-States that I hadn't talked to in two years. I don't really know how we got to talking again, but I'm really glad I got to see her before I left. She's someone who I definitely wouldn't mind keeping in touch with for years to come. I need more people like her in my life: genuine, caring, and sweet. I doubt there's anything remotely wrong with her. I absolutely adore her =) I also saw one of my old (ish) friends. We've been friends for a decent amount of time, but just got close this year. I have to say that she is definitely another person that I hope to be friends with long after we're out of college. We can have fun singing along to Dynamite (completely out of tune) or talking about particularly nasty hookups. Gah. Leaving people like this makes me really sad.

I also went out to go bowling with a different group of friends, and I thought it was... disappointing. I don't think any of them genuinely cared that I was leaving, or even wanted to keep in contact with me after I left. I could only think of one person who might do that, and that's pretty saddening. I thought I could expect more, but I guess they just don't like me, and I can't do anything about that. I guess it's all the better that I know now than later.

And now it's late and I should be getting ready for college, which I totally haven't done. I feel bad that this post is so scattered and uninteresting, but BITCHES, I GOT COLLEGE IN DA MORNIN'. Respect.

*I know I went to Cornell August 20th, but I just had time to upload this now lol. Hope you enjoy! =)

Friday, August 13, 2010

Rant (lol)

I think I enjoy acting like a whore. Is that a weird thing to say? This probably sounds like it's coming slightly out of left field, but it's something that's been on my mind for a little while, and I thought I'd try blogging about it and see if I feel better. I definitely wouldn't call myself an actual whore, but like a whore... poser.

I know this is completely random to think about, but it's like, I'm one of those people who talks a big game (aka screams penis all the time), but doesn't actually do anything. But I've had perfect opportunities to do so, and I just don't take them. I don't exactly know why either. Like yesterday. This guy I'd been talking to for a while came all the way to my house at one in the morning. As creepy as that sounds, it was actually really sweet, and quite possibly one of the best memories I've had so far. I always had the impression that the guy was the player/heart-breaker kind of guy, but I was pleasantly surprised. All he did was hold my hand and listen to me talk, all while under the night sky. He didn't try to pressure me to do anything, or make me feel uncomfortable in the slightest way. But a part of me really wished something did happen. Why? BECAUSE I'M A WANNABE SLUT. Hahaha, but seriously, it doesn't help that he's ridiculously cute and apparently thinks I'm adorable. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Apparently failing.

But that's one of the few things on my mind. *Insert somewhat good transition here that I totally can't think of* It's fairly unrelated to this next topic... Bitchassness. Now, I don't generally like to quote P-Diddy, but I do think that the occasion does call for it at this time. There is this guy... I shall dub him Guy A. I'll name the friend Guy B. So, I was on Skype a couple of days ago and vidchat with Guy B. It was the first time we had done so since I had gone to Korea, and it was nice just talking. HOWEVER, Guy B asks me if I've been a "naughty girl" lately, to which my response is, "... what the fuck." Instantly, alarms start ringing off in my head. I don't think he would randomly bullshit me and just try to mess with me, so I already knew: someone said something. Gah. I hate people who can't keep their mouths shut. I guess I don't really do that well either, but when it comes to certain things, I think they're better left unsaid. But back to the story.

Guy A and I never did anything together, but we did have the occasional... phone sex. DISGUSTING, I KNOW. I don't know why I ever did it, or how I even found it appealing, but it still happened. It's not really my proudest moment lol, but I figured that as long as it was never mentioned again, that I wouldn't have to think about it. Well, clearly that doesn't occur. So, as I'm wondering just what the heck Guy B is talking about, it turns out that Guy A TOLD Guy B about what happened. This pissed me off for various reasons: the guy has a girlfriend, one with whom I'm actually good friends, so I figured it was one of those "DON'T EVER TELL ANYONE THIS HAPPENED" kind of thing. Also, I remember specifically telling Guy A NOT to say anything, even to his supposed best friend. He told me not to worry, especially since he wouldn't tell his best friend because he's "unreliable" and can't keep his mouth shut.. O RLY?

I just don't really understand why he would tell Guy B. I mean, I seriously have to wonder if A's a moron. Why would you go and tell one of the ridiculously few mutual friends that we have, especially one that would tell me about this because he's one of my good friends? Also, is A a girl? I mean, can he not keep his mouth shut about the most minute gossip? I can't even begin to understand how this could be something worth bragging about. If anything, it's mortifying for both parties. But of course, Guy A told Guy B every grotesque detail about it. I can't believe he's that stupid.

I'm sure anybody who's reading this just thinks I'm the moron and wonders why I even did it in the first place. To be honest, I can't really explain. As weird/wrong the thing I did was, I guess I... expected it. I don't know how to react when some guy is just constantly showering me with compliments, telling me how pretty I am and how I'm perfect in every single way. I feel like it was only natural to want to do something back... LOL THAT SOUNDS REALLY GROSS. I think I'll just stop talking about this topic altogether. I think I just needed to let off some steam about this, and it seems stupid to do that on something that's fairly public like a blog.

One of my friends said she liked my blog because I would be the only to openly talk about anything and everything that goes on in my life... And I think that's the only way I would want it. I mean, if I didn't, then what the hell would I have to talk about? I love that people actually do take time to read this posts, and I think the least I could do is at least be honest, with both myself and others. And now I think I'll end this with things I've been liking.

Things I've been enjoying lately:

1) Consistency. As weird as this sounds, I like knowing that something is predictable. Whether it's coming home to an understanding father in the midst of a critical relatives, or going online and having certain people im-ing you every day. Even if it's not the most stimulating conversation, it makes me think that they care enough to always be there.

2) Fuzzy feelings. As LOSER-ISH as this one sounds, I think that feeling giddy is definitely a way to feel like a girl again. That small touch on the hip, or that insanely adorable text message. Either way, I just feel... happy. And it seems as though that hasn't been as easy as it used to be. I really enjoy the small times where you can relish the moment a bit.

3) Phones. I think it's because I was in Korea with no cell phone, but I've fallen in love with texting and calling. I actually felt ridiculously popular (hu hu hu) when a few of my friends called me while I was at the movies today. While this is complete poppycock and I am incredibly pathetic, I seriously am glad where I can just whip out my phone and attempt to contact someone I know instead of faking it with the phone I had in Korea. Good times... Goooood times. Not.

4)Blackmail. Muahahahah. Yeah, I'm definitely just a female dick. I made someone feel guilty about not getting me a birthday gift even though my birthday had been over a week ago, and she gave me a gift today... at someone else's birthday party. And then I made a bet that I knew the other person would lose, just so I would get a free movie ticket. I would say that I do all these things because I'm an evil mastermind, but even I can't kid myself. I know I'm dumb. But even dumb people can be douchebags =D

5) Jeggings. My ever expanding waistline has been exceptionally unforgiving lately, and the only pair of pants I seem to be willing to wear out are my jean leggings. I don't particularly think that it is appropriate bottoms, but it's nice to wear something that stretches with my fat ass. The only thing that bothers me is that when I try to scratch my leg, my fingernails turn blue from the material. What bull.

This post was a bit different than the normal ones I do, but there were a few things I wanted to just get off of my mind. And into your pants ;)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

A revision

I'm a bit unsatisfied with my last two blog posts. I got pretty tired midway through writing them, and I just wanted to finish. So, I ended up just writing down all of the stuff I did, without even explaining them or saying what I felt about them. Overall, I think that while my trip could have been better, it was mainly my fault if I felt like it was lacking. Thinking about it, I'm a bit upset that I didn't start taking pictures for my trip until the very end of it. I think that I wasn't really trying to enjoy what I was going through for the first week or so. Instead, all I thought about was what I could be doing in the States and how it might've been a mistake coming there. But when I tried being more open-minded, I ended up having the most fun I had all summer.

Also, I think that I was really trying to convey this message that I was an adult while in Korea. I wanted to be seen by others as someone who's going to college, and clearly ready for it. But I should've just liked being young and doing whatever the heck it is that young people do there. Except I didn't really have the friends or means of transportation to do that really XP But if I were given the opportunity to go to Korea again (perhaps for a study abroad program), I definitely would take it. I can't get over how much I loved every single one of my relatives. Some of them had their quirks, but they all seemed to genuinely care about how I was doing. This is in stark contrast to how useless and alone I felt just ten years before. I thought that they only cared about my brother, who was the boy of the family.

But here are a few things that I noticed while I was there...

1)There are no left-handed people. Seriously, every time I was sitting at a table, at least one person would comment on it. I know that it used to be seen as bad luck a few decades ago, but I guess no one wants their child to bear the hand.. OF THE DEVIL. But seriously, I was born left-handed because my father was, but he's currently a rightie. Why? Because my grandmother beat him constantly until he started using his right hand for all tasks. He was clearly scarred for life, and when my mother suggested for them to change my left-handedness, he vehemently opposed it. I think that this kinda makes me special, so I'm glad he let me keep it. Still, I don't quite understand why it's still such a rarity in Korea. Regardless, it did bring about attention towards me hahaha.

2) Friendship bracelets don't exist. All of my relatives kept asking what the piece of string on my hand was. I explained to them that it was a bracelet my friend (in this particular case, Rachel) had made for me personally and I then tied it around my wrist. One of them thought I joined the Kabbalah religion... No. But they either were perplexed by the idea of friendship bracelets, or just thought that all American kids wore it. When my brother visited two years ago, he wore one as well. I'm sure they all have this image of everyone wearing string on their wrists in the States as a fashion statement.

3)They really seem to like American people. For the most part, I can't really speak Korean all too well, so I just kept my mouth shut. I figured it would be annoying for people to hear me speak in English when no one else did. I thought of it by remembering how much I hated it when people in New Jersey start speaking in their language in front of everyone. It's annoying and you live in America, I thought. Learn the language -_- But it turned out to be the opposite! For the most part, everyone could tell that I had horrible grammar in Korean, and I'd get called out on it sometimes. But as soon as I started talking in English, everyone ooh-ed and ahh-ed at my "flashiness" and "cool personality". Yeah, weird.

4)Korean boys definitely don't like me. Hahaha, I'm not sure if this one is entirely true, but it sure seems like it. The only time I can recall being checked out during my entire trip is by some white guy taking a drag while I was walking down the street. Wow, I managed to get looked up and down by the one person who's actually not from here. Can you say... fail? But then again, I'm not really good at noticing people when they do stare at me for various reasons, so maybe there were some random Korean boys looking my way. I highly doubt it, but who knows? At this point, I've lost all hope in me ever finding one. I guess I'll have to stick to mah white boys =P Not that they stick to me either...

But hmm, what else is there to say? I guess I can talk a bit more about what's been going on recently. It was actually my dad's birthday yesterday, and I felt ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE because I had forgotten it. I knew it was the 10th, but I didn't actually know that day was the 10th... I blame my jetlag =P But basically, here's how it went down. This'll be the series of conversations between my mom and dad over the phone. This is all translated from Korean by the way.

*Ring Ring*
Dad: Hey, I just wanted to know if we're going out for dinner tonight?
Mom: .... No. Why would we?
Dad: Well, I kinda wanted everyone to go out as a family today. I mean, it is a special day.
Mom: No, just come home. I already made dinner and everything.
Dad: ... Okay. I'll talk to you later. *click*

Second Call:
*ring ring*
Dad: SO. I think I'm going to get my hair cut today.
Mom: That's nice.
Dad: I might come back a little late because of it.
Mom: And you're telling me... Why?
Dad: Well, just in case you were planning something and needed to know.
Mom: I don't need your life story. Bye. *click*

Third and Final Call:
*ring ring... ring**
Mom: Is there a reason why you're calling three times in the past fifteen minutes?
Dad: ... Are you forgetting something?
Mom: ... No... Do you mean the groceries? I said I'd get them tomorrow, so get off my back about it. *Pause. Now has a revelation of what the heck today is* I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

So there, that is what happened on my father's birthday. I managed to google "good gifts for dad" and found a website detailing nice gift ideas. I saw the option of buying expensive alcohol, and told my brother that we should get him Johnny Walker Blue Label Whiskey. Of course, my brother tries to explain how I'm a moron and don't understand the tax on those types of things... And then we end up getting him that anyways, but he still takes all the credit. We just bought the stuff as Costco, where everything's always cheaper. That reminds me. In the States, Costco is pronounced "cost-co". Makes sense right? Well, I specifically remember one of my friends making fun of me because I called it "coast-co" because that's how my parents say it. Well, it turns out that there are actually Costcos in South Korea, and that everyone says it like that. So HA, you jerky mcjerkpants who called me out on my so-called mispronunciation. I knew there was a reason for it. I'll just put this down as another win in my book...

Oh, and I guess I can talk about one more thing. One of my newfound friends from Cornell recently started talking to me, and we got around to the topic of Chatroulette. Of course, everyone and their grandmother has been on it at least once, usually with a bunch of their friends. I, OF COURSE, haven't. I thought that it might be slightly pathetic to go on without a buddy and just doing it for fun, but I got annoyed at how everyone would talk about their Chatroulette adventures and how I never could really understand them. So, I put on my big girl hat and decided to go on. I was ready for the excessive amounts of penis and the whole she-bang. The first person I end up meeting is the only person I talk to for the entire night. Haha, as crazy as it sounds, I had a four hour conversation with a random stranger I met online. And now we're friends on both Oovoo and Skype. So thank you, mystery man, for making my first Chatroulette experience a fun one =D I have to say that it was quite possibly one of the weirdest things I've done all week.

And it is 11:15, and I'm still grimy as fuck. By that, I mean that I woke up at nine thirty and haven't taken a shower or brushed my teeth since I got up. Yeah, I get distracted by the computer too easily hahaha. But I shall end this post with a peace of mind, knowing that I'm actually satisfied with what I wrote. Maybe because I used the word penis? =D

Monday, August 9, 2010

So... What happens now?

It's 5:17 at the moment, and I definitely should be sleeping. Before this I was on oovoo with one of my friends who I haven't seen this entire summer. Despite all the mean things he says to me sometimes, I do think that he is an amazing friend and that I'm glad I wasn't too ignorant and got to know some juniors in the past couple of years. Hahaha, this sounds terrible, but I think that his misery makes me happy. He told me that he didn't like how I told another girl in his grade things that I haven't told him, even though he's known me longer. Do I sense... jealousy?? I wouldn't go far to say it's that, but it seemed like he cared enough to want to be good friends that he was insulted when it didn't seem that way. Now don't I feel so popular ;)

Regardless, I just think that while spending three hours on oovoo was excessive, I seem to always have a fun time with these types of conversations. Oh, and that reminds me! I just recently made a skype since it seems like everyone in the world and their grandmothers have one. I decided to join the bandwagon and see if it'll be easier than oovoo. So far it's look pretty interesting. Of course Katherine is the first one to invite me into a conversation. I really do consider her one of my best friends. I can't get over the things she does for me. She always manages to include me in her life, and that's a lot more than I can say for most of my friends. Even if I don't know any of the other people in the conversation on skype, she compliments my asian looks and introduces me to her friends. And she even drew me a picture of myself as a birthday gift. I didn't actually tell her, but I almost cried. I can't begin to describe how much something like that touched me, but after spending my entire birthday on a plane, and coming home to nobody, I began to think that maybe my eighteenth birthday wasn't such a bust after all.

I don't mean to get so sensitive on what should be a happy day, but for the most part, my birthday is usually a lonely one, and this year was no different. I did hang out with some friends the day after, but it just wasn't the same. No one said happy birthday to me unless I reminded them, I didn't receive any gifts, and I felt like only one person truly acknowledged that my birthday was just the day before. I know these all sound like materialistic things, but I just wanted some indication that people... genuinely cared. I guess I had high hopes because my last birthday was absolutely wonderful. Beth had actually thrown me a surprise party, and it was the one birthday I'll always remember. I can't imagine someone going so far to do so much for me, and it quite possibly was the best one I've had in my eighteen years.

So, what have I been doing since I got back? Well, thanks for the question voice in my head! I would love to tell you. Lately I've just been trying to squeeze in as many hang-outs as I can before I leave for college. It was about halfway into my Korea trip that I realized I was only going to be in North Brunswick for two more weeks. I panicked. That isn't nearly enough time to see all of my friends. But I'll make it work. Or at least I keep telling myself that. It just has to. If I really want to, I think I'll be able to. I don't think I'll cry the day I leave, since none of my friends will be there, but it saddens me to think that this is all the time I have with them. Life's too short to spend it without close friends.

In the past two days, I've seen about... ten of the people I intended to see. I think that's a pretty good start. I didn't actually know until the day it was happening, but my friend had been planning a beach day and then watching a movie afterwards for the day after I came back. I saw it in time so that I could go to the event. I didn't go to the beach because I wanted to see another person first, but I did decide to catch the movie. So, with my friend in the afternoon, we decided to go to Burrito Royale, quite possibly one of the shadiest burrito shacks in the area. But my friend thought it would've been a nice idea to get ice cream as well. I was craving any and all American food. After three weeks of delicious Korean meals, I needed some Taco Bell and Wendy's in my stomach. We ended up going to Friendly's and ordering more than enough food to feed all of Ethiopia. Needless to say, we didn't go to the burrito shack. I couldn't even find it! It practically up and walked away. But moving on. I went to go see that movie. I gave a couple of people their souvenirs, and we ate pizza while watching Avatar. It was initially planned that we see it at the park, but it was ridiculously crowded. So, I offered my house since my parents couldn't possibly say no to the birthday girl. I think all in all, it was a good night. I did suffer from jetlag and so towards the end of it, I actually fell asleep >.< But I definitely did remember why I missed hanging out with these guys. They're all hysterical and ridiculously fun. There really aren't too many dull moments. I had a lot of fun listening to their stories at the beach about rubbing nipples, as strange as that sounds.

There was one thing I was a bit hesitant about that day though. There was an ex-friend who I also hadn't seen for a long time. She's definitely a big part of our group of mutual friends, but I knew she didn't particularly like me. There were some issues around prom season that I think I blogged about in a different post, but it's not really necessary to bring it up now. Basically, while I did want to be friends with her, it seemed highly unlikely that would ever happen, and she made it pretty clear that she didn't consider me a friend. Regardless, I did invite her to watch the movie at my house with everyone else. It would be stupid and immature not to do that. While I don't think we'll ever be good friends again, there's definitely no need to make anyone feel left out. I appreciate her efforts to make sure that I'm involved,as she did today when we all went to Chili's, and I'm sure she's glad that we can all hang out without it being awkward. I guess a part of me is sad that our friendship for the most part is feigned, but I can't really help that now. It's still nice to be cordial to each other.

The movie ended up being terrible. While I did enjoy the first hour of it, Avatar just felt like it dragged on for what felt like decades. To be honest, I don't even know what happens. I'll just remember what I can from Pocahontas and call it a done deal. I might've enjoyed it more had I been watching it myself and actually "watching" the movie. It seems to be impossible to do that with friends. We ended up just talking for all of it and sitting on each other. I did not appreciate the two biggest guys in the entire group sitting on my chest while I was passed out. Still, I have to say that deep down, it made me feel like a part of the group again, and it actually made me smile. The day after I came back was definitely a success.

Now it's almost 6:00 am, and I've decided to wrap things up. I'm praying I don't wake up ridiculously late tomorrow as I promised to go to the mall with one of my very best friends. She's been oh so lovely ever since I left for Korea, and I have to say that I feel guilty that I didn't believe in her so much before. I thought she was one of those people who wasn't exactly.... real? She seemed slightly fake to me, and I thought that we would never be good friends. I really regret how I used to feel about our relationship because she is absolutely one of the closest friends I have now, and I feel like she'll always be there for me if I need her. I can't wait to give her the souvenirs and present I got for her when I get back! I'm pretty sure she doesn't read my blog, so I can ruin the surprise here (hu hu hu). I know she's a hugeee fan of this Korean celebrity, and he actually has an ad campaign going on in Korea right now. So, I was flipping through a magazine when I saw it. There it was, this fine man in all of his perfect glory. Although it was a public magazine, I ripped out the page with the ad and carefully placed it into my bag. I smuggled in a random page from a magazine that belonged to some caffe. I am just that badass. Hahah, but I'm sure she'll find it funny, or at least appreciate my fail-tastic efforts to get her something I knew she wanted.

But alas, tis 6:00 and I cannot keep my chinky eyes open! But I am thinking of this. Now that I've come back home, what am I going to do now? Do I do everything I can to prepare for Cornell? Do I just spend my time making plans with friends and enjoying life? Do I practice for the audition I have in two weeks, even though I haven't touched my instrument in eight months? Why is my ass itchy? I don't know what I'll be doing for the next week or so, but I just have to say, it's great to be back =)

Korean Adventures Part II (of Two)

After coming back to Seoul, my mother and I met up with a family friend we had met in America. Her name was Eun-Jung, but I just called her Unni. Unni had been studying in America for... quite some time now. Hahah, I can't exactly remember when, but I do know that she was here when I was around ten years old. I actually saw her in early July, when I was still in America. It was one of her last visits here and my parents treated her out to dinner. It was hard to talk to her since I couldn't speak Korean and she wasn't really confident in her English skills. For the most part, she can understand what I'm saying, but I guess that she's a bit embarrassed to speak in another language, which I can completely understand.

When we met up, unni had told us about eyelash extensions, and of course, my mother and I were interested. We decided to go where she told us and we proceeded to get them done. The process was relatively painless, but it was indeed freaky. At the end of it, my eyes finally had nice and fluttering lashes. I've never known the feeling before, so it definitely was a nice experience. A few have fallen out since then, but for the most part, they're still intact. They're bound to only last a week or two more. The woman who attached them said that the extensions would last for two months... if I didn't wash my face. Because that isn't completely grimy whatsoever... But so then that was the first day I saw her. My mother had mentioned to her that I REALLY wanted to go to Lotte World, which is an indoor amusement park in Korea. My unni was nice enough to volunteer to take me, even though I don't think she had any particular interest in going. We planned to go together in two days.

But before that, I had lunch with several of my relatives. My little cousin had actually flown in from Shanghai by the time I came back from the extensions place. Her father's work had placed her in China, but she and her mother came back to visit. She definitely looked all grown up, but that might just be because I haven't seen her since I was seven. She actually looked like what I would have imagined. She seems to have taken to the Korean pop culture, and it's definition of beauty and fashion. I thought it would be nice to see her, but she seemed much more involved in her own life. She has friends in Korea, and she wanted to text them, hang out with them, and I don't think she was particularly interested in seeing me. But she was staying with my grandmother as was my mother and I. To celebrate everyone's return, we all went out to a restaurant. I saw my aunt again, but I saw my uncle for the first time, and even my older cousin. We all talked and had a nice time. My mother had to get a bunch of things before we left for the States, so we went to the mall. As we walked there, I managed to talk to my older cousin. She told me she was really sorry that she couldn't really show me around. She was actually an architecture major in the best university in Korea. Seoul University is basically the equivalent of Harvard or Princeton. She really didn't even have time to breathe, so I understood completely. Even though we only talked for about ten minutes, I absolutely loved her. She seemed so friendly and down-to-earth. I wish I could have seen her more, but it was nice knowing that I had such kind relatives. I had hoped that my relationship with my little cousin would be similar, but it really wasn't.

Now that I think about it, I am leaving out a few bit parts here and there, but I figure these posts are absurdly long that I don't need to bore anyone with any more of these irrelevant stories. But now I can talk about something I was looking forward to for the entire trip: Lotte World. This is basically the equivalent of Six Flags in America. The amazing part is that half of it is indoors while the other half is outside. My unni showed me around and took me on all the rides I wanted. This was definitely a great experience, and we were able to talk a lot more than we ever did. I realize now just what a great person she really is, and I'm glad to add more people like that in my life. I got to know more about her and get to know her on a level we really couldn't before. The place was fun, the girl was fun, what more could I ask for? I have to say that I definitely am one of the most dumbest people with no level of common sense whatsoever though. I kept my camera in my pocket on went on this ride called "THE GIANT LOOP". It didn't occur to me that possibly, PERHAPS, my camera might be able to fall out while I'm suspended upside fifty feet in the air. So now I'm left with a disgustingly mangled camera and it's because my stupidity. I don't know how, but the thing still manages to work perfectly fine. I think it's lucky. Or it's like me. It'll function no matter how many times you drop it =D Or at least that's what my parents told me...

And now that brings me to my last day in Korea. Well, next to last to be exact, but it was the last day that I would be able to do anything really. I asked my cousin if she could take me to a club because I always wanted to try that, especially in Korea. She had everything all organized. She took me to a few places beforehand because the club doesn't open until 11pm. She picked me up as soon as she got off work, and we had dinner. The weird thing, the only food that we both really enjoy is Korean BBQ. So of course I had that for about the seventh time in my entire trip. This is absolutely ABSURD since that shiz costs like $80 bucks for two people, but my cousin's always trying to do what's best for me. I seriously can't thank her enough for constantly being considerate of my wishes and what makes me happy. That night, we went to a few bars, had a few drinks, and she showed me the nightlife. I have to say that I'm actually pretty disappointed in myself in that department hahaha. I definitely have a ridiculously low level of tolerance, and I definitely can't drink beer. The taste is absolutely vomit-inducing to my stomach, which I'll never quite understand. I even had a delicioussss apple martini and a few other drinks as the night went on, but I knew I had to stop at three. I hate me and my asian self >.< But back to the clubbing. When it came time to enter the club, it turns out that the police were doing ID checks. I didn't have one on me since I'm from the States, but I still wouldn't be allowed in. The police were actually adamant about the IDs, and it was the first time that they ever did such a thing. Usually, people who didn't look like middle schoolers could just walk in, but it was a special day I guess, full of debauchery that needed to be kept in check. Still, my cousin felt terrible and attempted to show me around other places. I don't think I particularly enjoyed all of the places, but it meant a lot to me that she would go to such lengths when she could've easily called it a night. I actually did have a lot of fun overall, and I think that my birthday was a pretty nice day =)

I definitely should have described that a bit more, but my wickedly tired self is telling me to give up. But I must trudge on. And so it's the final day. I'm leaving. My grandmother and aunt drop my mother and me off at the terminal. I absolutely adore my aunt. I didn't know just how sweet of a person she was until I came this summer. She's also one of those people who just wanted to make sure I was always comfortable and content. I can't even begin to thank her for all she's done. Overall, I have to say that I actually like all of my relatives. They're just so... caring. I don't really have a family environment like that at home. It's just my immediate family in New Jersey, and for once, I felt like I was a part of one of those gigantic family reunions. I was actually really sad that I had to leave them all before really getting to know them, but I know they'll be there when I come back. But it was rough. I started tearing up when my grandmother started leaving. She had this look of genuine despair on her face. She didn't want my mother to go so soon. My mother also started crying. It was just one big sobfest, but we managed to get through it. For now, all I can do is give my best wishes and hope that they're doing okay on the other side of the world.

So, in summarization: I loved my trip, my relatives, and the things I did there. I did become a lot closer with some of them, and I can't wait for the day when I can speak proper Korean and really tell them how much I appreciate their warm atmosphere. But now, I'm back home, and I couldn't be more elated.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Korean Adventures Part I

Finally. I'm back home after what feels like ages. Actually, my trip doesn't seem that long now that I think about it. I came home at what feels like the perfect time. If I stayed any longer, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed my trip as much. But there's still so much to tell about it! I don't know where to start...

But let's see. After these past three weeks, I would definitely give my vacation two gigantic (because I have mutuated monster hands apparently) thumbs up. I think at the beginning, I was being too pessimistic about it. I shouldn't have kept thinking about what I could be doing, and focusing what I can do there. I ended up doing a LOT of things. My last wall post ended with me going to the shopping mecca of the country. Within the next few days, I managed to go to my mother's cousin's house. I would write something else for the title, but I don't really know that the name for that type of relative is. We'll just call him Uncle A. Hahaha, so I was at Uncle A's house because I needed to fill out the ballot for my freshman writing seminar. Because I lived in America all of my life, he thought that I could help his son with his English homework. The kid is seven years old, so I figured it couldn't be too hard. WRONG. HORRIBLY WRONG.

I was shocked and appalled at the level of complexity for an elementary school student's homework in a foreign language. I tried to help him in the section about diction. The excerpt was about Greek mythology, more specifically, the creation myth. So, the premise is that a teacher is talking about how different cultures made stories and reasons as for how the earth and its inhabitants came to be. Whatever happened to the old stories about Peter Cottontail, or how the chicken crossed the road? I didn't know schoolwork had to be this complicated. But it was about to get worse. The excerpt expected the student to be able to list the string of words missing from the passage, based on what the reader said aloud. There were words like cosmological, apparitions, condescending... I don't think kids in high school even know how to spell these words. I couldn't believe that these third graders were expected to know so much. I'm almost positive that half the people in my grade can't even spell cosmogony. I didn't even know that was a word. So, with my faith in the American education system shaken, and my confidence in my intelligence level dropping, I went home. I thanked Uncle A and the family for letting me stay over for so long. Although I filled out my ballot hours before, I was on facebook for the most part and they didn't mind at all. They even treated me out for Chinese food in the middle of it.

And so I started packing for my trip to Gwangju. Gwangju is very much in the southern part of South Korea. My cousin had told my mother and I to come down there. Her husband had been stationed there by the military, and so they had an apartment in the area and wanted to show us around. I have to say, those two days were probably the most fun I had the entire trip. The train ride was about three hours long, which was the lowest point of the trip. I didn't particularly mind, as I kept thinking about the fourteen hour hell hole my previous flight was. Anyways, when we arrived, my cousin and her beau first took us out to eat. I have to say: I'm officially in love with Korean BBQ. The dish we had was called kalbi, but it wasn't the traditional kind. Instead of beef, it was actually pork. It was cooked in a special oven that marinated it in a specific. It was apparently one of those restaurants featured in a travel guide. Needless to say, I ate my entire weight in the stuff. It was quite possibly the best tasting thing I had in Korea. I'm sure many are jealous, as I realize now that Korean BBQ is actually really popular among Americans. I'm salivating at the moment just thinking about it. Wow, I'm fat.

But after our scrumptious lunch, we set out to do anything and everything that we could possibly do as tourists. This involved driving around for two hours to every place we went. I felt bad for my cousin's husband's (is there a shorter term for that?) right foot. I feel the pain. But let's see... The first place we went to was a cute area in a quaint town. We went for a bike ride in these golf cart-like contraptions. They were quite adorable, and not nearly as exhausting as a tandem bike. I actually had a lot of fun riding around with my cousin in the beautiful weather. Although it was ridiculously hot. For the time I stayed in Korea, it was monsoon season and also the hottest summer of the past eighty years. I have the best timing, obviously.

But back to the trip. After enjoying some freshly baked goods and relaxing in the comforts of the air conditioned car, we set off to a bamboo forest. It's exactly what it sounds like, which is a bunch of bamboo stalks being everywhere. While this sounds boring, I think the place was absolutely gorgeous and that I got a couple of nice things out of it. I got this bracelet made of complete bamboo and I even got a stamp in my name, so I can look officially when sending out letters. Chyeah. I'll be sure to upload the photos within the next few days, but I doubt they're that interesting. It's really just ones of me. Being weird. Even I don't enjoy that.

Listing the things I did, it really doesn't seem like a lot, but I have to say that it sure felt like an eternity. I remember practically dying as soon as we reached the couple's apartment. But of course, with the wi-fi, I absolutely had to check my facebook. I showed my cousin what it was like, and she was surprised. I think that Koreans don't utilize facebook nearly as much as Americans do for social networking. Strangely, my cousin actually has a twitter and updates it constantly. I found that pretty odd to be honest. But she really liked everything I showed her, and I pointed out a few of my friends, my time at junior and senior prom, and my general time in America. My mother got mad, asking me why I never want to show her my facebook. I promptly ignored her. But she told me to go to sleep soon, as we had a long day ahead of us. We were only staying in Gwangju for two days and one night, but my cousin was determined to make sure we get the entire experience.

The next day, I woke up and got ready to go to a village completely overrun by green tea leaves. It was a mountain filled with just thousands upon thousands of the plants. I got to have some of the famous green tea products, like their ice cream and green tea latte. Of course, it was amazing. I wish I was a bit more of an actual tea connoisseur, so I could enjoy the tea my mother was going to bring back home, but I think I'm too much of a kid at heart. I'll stick to my water and hot chocolate for the most part >.< Again, it was a day with scalding temperatures, but I still had a pretty good time. Afterwards, we attempted to travel to the most southern part of South Korea. We did actually get there, but on the way back up the mountain, we got a flat. This definitely reminded me of the time Kevin and I hung out for the first time, and we had a flat in New Brunswick. While that's one of my most fondest memories now, it was fucking scary at the time. With a train to catch and no one to be seen, this seemed like a really bad time to get a flat on the tip of Korea. Luckily, the insurance covered things like that and we were able to get a technician to get down there and help us. However, the guy took more than ten minutes (what he had initially told us) to get there. Actually, he arrived forty five minutes later, just in time for another repairman to show up because he thought the first one had gotten lost. Because of the whole incident, the repair ended up being free, but the good part was that we were finally able to get into the car and drive back to the train station.

About halfway through our drive back to the station, my cousin starts to worry. It turns out that the station is about two hours away at the moment, and our train departs in an hour and thirty minutes. My cousin-in-law (yeah that's it) then proceeds to go at a whopping 130 km per hour *roughly HOLY FREAKING HECK THAT's RIDICULOUSLY FAST* and swivel around all of the other cars around us. It seemed like we weren't going to make it, but he managed to get us there just in time. He even ran and carried our heavy suitcase to where our train was. He honestly is one of the sweetest people I've ever met, and I definitely approve. I didn't know what kind of person he was before I came here, but now I know that my cousin was really lucky in meeting him.

And... that's when we came back to Seoul! I definitely have more to write but as of now, my hands are ridiculously tired as is my face. I shall continue this in another post! It will be the last one of my vacation. So, to be continued =)