Thursday, December 30, 2010

New Years Resolutions: Things I SHOULDN'T Do

While I don't like to believe in them, I guess I would say that I should think about all of the things I've done and list a couple of things I'll try not to do for the new year.

1. Slack off. Now, I was able to get away with slacking off my senior year of high school, but I tend to forget that I was able to do that because I had high grades all before that. I think that I occasionally dismissed that good grades only come from hard work during my first college semester. I definitely need to tell myself to strive for what I used to, before senioritis kicked in (lol). I know I can do it, and I have to say that this semester was a huge disappointment when it came to grades. Hopefully I can actually take the mistakes I've made and turn them into positives for next semester =D

2. Become complacent. I don't think there's anything wrong with being happy with what you have, but for me, it's a sign of something bad. Either I'm not working myself to death because I'm not doing enough, or I'm simply fine with mediocrity. So, if I find myself hanging out with the same people over and over, I need to change that. I need to meet new people and try to expand my experience at Cornell to more than just a few people. Overall, I just want to make sure I'm making the most out of everything I do.

3. Do stupid things. A lot of times, I do things thinking that they're not actually bad, and they'll just make for a great story later... False. Completely untrue. Absolutely 100% BAD IDEA. I need to make sure I don't act like a straight-up fool sometimes. I don't think it's wrong to let loose, but there are different types of ways to have fun (which brings me to the next regret...)

4. Random Hook-ups. I don't think I really see the point in them anymore. I went crazy in the beginning of the year because I thought, "HEY. BOYS LIKE ME. I'M NOT SUPER UGLY. WOOT." Yeah, bad idea. But I think now that I've gotten it out of the way, I'm finally ready for that relationship I keep on wanting. I mean, I will admit that this chick do need her sensual seduction sometimes.. (jk) but honestly, I just think that I should stop. I realized a while ago that hooking up doesn't make me happy. I guess I thought of it as an ego boost before, but at the end of the day, I just feel... dirty. I know now that what I want more than anything else is someone to like me for more than just a one night stand and hopefully I like him back too. Apparently that's hard to come by though... I'll go ahead and break down my group of guy friends in Cornell. They all have: girlfriends, ex-girlfriend issues, or boyfriends. At this point, I might as well accept that I'm going to be single and lonely for the rest of my life. -__- Still, that hasn't stopped me from trying...

5. Get hung up on things. Blargh. Story of my neurotic life. Whenever something happens to me, I can't stop thinking about it hours, days on end. Everything either has a double meaning to it or I just think more into it that I should. It's a nasty habit, and one I'm not quite sure I can get rid of. Still, I'll try to keep myself from doing it as often as I do next year. One of the ways in which I need to move on with my life is probably in the romance department... I think I've liked the same guy for about three or four months now. I'm entirely sure that there is no way something will ever happen between us, and there is just no point in sitting around and waiting for him. I would say that every part of me has moved on except for my brain. It wants to hold on to the slightest hope that ANYTHING at all might result from my pining. Well, I'm hoping that this new year will also bring new boys into my life. I'm tired of wanting someone who will never look twice in my direction.

I'm sure there are a few other things that I'll want to avoid next year, but we'll see as the year goes along, won't we? ;D Oh, but one resolution for the year: UPDATE THIS BLOG MORE THAN ONCE EVERY EIGHT MONTHS. Sound good?

Hi, my name is....

Jen. I don't know if you really remember me, but I used to actually write on this blog. I know, I know, it's been a while. I actually doubt that if I did have anyone who read this at some point will even bother reading it now. BUT since I have a lot of downtime, I figured it couldn't be too terrible to write a couple of blog posts here and there.

So, it is officially winter break. Actually, it's been winter break for about two weeks now. I just got done with my first college semester. Well, you might be asking yourself, "Self, why are you reading this nonsense?" GOOD QUESTION, NON-EXISTENT READER. You're possibly reading this because you want to know how my life has been since I've gone to college. I'll just go ahead and break down the past four months of my life. After all this time, if I could sum up my experience into a haiku, here's how it would go:

Sometimes, life is hard
Classes suck; I like drinking
Five-syllable phrase

I know, I know. It's quite possibly some of my best work yet. But on a serious note, I absolutely loved my first semester of college. Of course there were various ups and downs, but I would say that aside from a few bumps here and there, it's been a fun ride. I'm hoping that I actually learned something from this semester and will do better come January 24th. If there's anything I would say from going through everything, it would be that it's okay to make mistakes. Sometimes, it's just the only way to learn. I don't think anyone knows what to really expect from college, but you'll get the hang of it once you learn more about yourself. I won't lie and say that I haven't done things I regret, or think about the things I could've done, but I can't undo the past, nor is there any point wallowing in a pool of self-pity. I can just.. move on, and think that I've possibly taken something from all of the experiences I've had.

And I hope that's how everyone else feels. Honestly, there is no one who will know you as well as you know yourself. Most of the time, however, you don't realize that you're not doing what's best for yourself. It usually takes a huge wake-up call to realize that. But I have confidence in everyone. It'll take a while, but I think that myself included, people will find out who they really are by the end of their four years of college. And that is what I look forward to the most this new year.